Saturday, 09 May 2009
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It's eccentric how emotions work. Or maybe just too immense.
I wished we had a remote control to play "happiness" or fast forward "sadness". Turn up the volume of laughter and mute the cries of our hearts. And if it’s too overwhelming for one to withstand, just hit the stop button and play a different tune. Why couldn’t it be that simple?
I wished it wasn't simply the cause of inducers; both that we’re better or worse off with. Something seemingly out of our locus of control. It doesn’t appear fair, not at all. Hmph, such pretentious thoughts that perplex one into believing that it’s okay. Heck, no. I don’t want to consent it, I don’t want to adhere to the decrees or nature. As if it is dictating us from the freedom of joy.
Emotions are often contagious. As though it transmits from one person to another.
It’s like how the atmosphere could almost instantaneously change because of one person that just isn’t in the mood that day.
It’s like how you would cry as a child when your mom cries, despite knowing why she was being emotional.
It’s when there’s a little Ms. Sunshine that never fails to ease you and lift up your spirit with her sweet smile.
It’s not simply due to a powerful sense of imagination; to put yourself in another’s shoe.
At least I believe there are other reasons that could explain it. A strong tie between the two, maybe? Somehow people are simply connected. I don’t mean either the “one degree” or “two degree” friendship, nor blood relations that seem to be overly-emphasized where it is said to be the mandate from God or fate; blood may mean something, but certainly not everything. Definitely, there is more intriguing basis to it. It’s like an invisible string that forms overtime. You’ll never able to physically see how frail or strong it is. It’s there, but never fully explainable. By some means, there’s just this part in the imperceptible part of us that link the hearts of people.
This vagueness scares me;
You’ll never know the degree this obscured attachment would affect you. How it may bring you to cloud 9, or drop you to the pits. How much impact it would stamp in your life. And perhaps I’m afraid it doesn’t influence me as much as before; what implications would it then be? What would that mean? Does the change in magnitude suggest an advance or deterioration? I really don’t know. In some instances, I rather not know; fearing that it entails a relapse – that I will lose a part that used to mean so much, too much to let go.
Huge fluctuations in emotions may mean lost of control, but it may also indicate a gain in significance. Likewise, stability in emotions may mean a gain in control, but it may also indicate a lost in significance.
Maybe I rather laugh till I cry, or cry till I laugh;
Maybe I rather have this ache inside;
Maybe I rather bet on the faint assurance;
at least I know that it still matters.
Little-Pizza
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