Christmas



Let's wish that this season of giving and receiving would remind us of the true blessings we have in our lives - the people around us. I hope the turmoil and conflicts would ease with us being appreciative and grateful for each other. You'll never know when a person would depart from us, leaving a sigh and regret. That being said, at least, let it ease just that bit.

Have a great Christmas!

Little-Pizza

This marks a new chapter.

Recently, a very close friend of mine had a facebook status saying “Time to move on”. Though, our context may differ, but our intents are similar. There's so much fear. So much, to take on. But yet, we need to be strong and move on. To let go of what needs to be, accept what needs to be; leave this realm of fragmented memories and experience a shift. There's no certainty, there's no insurance. We walk based on faith and belief, with a foundation formed from abstractions. To walk on a tight rope, trusting there is an invisible net beneath. It's difficult to place reliance, yet we need to. Embracing fears and uncertainties, and walk forward.

It is time to let off the pain and disappointment. To recognize and finally understand that it need not matter, nor was it clear-cut who was at fault.
It is to look back at you, with appreciation. Thanking for the good and smiles you have once brought to my life.
It is to face and accept, not to bury within.
It is to say that “I loved you”, not “I love you”.
It is to walk the path that carved history, and to view it from a new shade.
It is to remember moments, as mere moments, neither to dwell in it nor picture a return.
It is to finally put my mind and thought to rest. It was well worth it.

Because the waves are gushing through, and I need to catch it. And I will try to.
Trust me, I will strive for it, to try again and again. Till it comes true.

I want to accept the current, fully as it is.
I detest presenting a scarred self. You deserve so much better. I want to give you the best of me.
I want to laugh, and smile, and giggle at every moment.
I want to be wholly happy, for us.
I do not want the bygone yoke to hold back, to disrupt the course we take.
Because you matter. You are significant to me.

To let the past be past, and you be my present and future.


Little-Pizza

Of simply judging another?

Is not that first impressions are based on an utter unfair justice through the set of lenses, past experiences, generalization and understanding of one’s own? Why are we so weak, to give in to the fiend thoughts though we will never want to be in that very position we assault on? It’s like you leave all form of rationalization that we learn so much of, and conclude despite it ruining the possibility of starting on the right foot. No, we do not take time to understand, to know. We do not look beyond the “obvious”, the meaning between the lines. We do not see past events or other contributing factors. We just take out our damn already-loaded gun, and shoot. We hate, we mock, and we spread our little gospel of your perceived “truth”. Does it bring justice for the one that is left wounded without a chance to defend? Ambush, maybe. Yet, this weak soul here speaks out from a hypocrite’s point of view, fearing of losing the principals she stood by on. Or did it even exist in a selfish, ignorant fool, created by science or God, but surely imperfect, in the first place?

Why have we not learned the destructions it will caused, despite the encounters over, and over again? Or do we in fact are aware but do not acknowledge it for the sake of a vile pleasure? I no longer comprehend the values I think you see, or at least I thought you did. You left me with confusion, no longer able to distinguish between the real and the pretense you. You make me fear the possibility of a truth that I rather not know. Tomorrow, will all of it disappear to dust; insignificant? I don’t understand. How can all the previous beliefs just get over shun by a few words, or a few deeds? Has it place no form of importance at all?

We know that optical illusions exist; that things are never always what you see it as, even with “your very eyes”. How cruel are we to not allow a nip of doubt with regards to our restricted and imperfect senses. How foolish and infantile are we to trust in a statement that may be taken out from a context, a more complete and accurate depiction. Hmph. Humans; simply revealing truths that would exemplify what we want them to think of us, what is to our best interest, but hiding the facts that would convey the distasteful reality that screams to be given fairness. Humans, like me and you.

You make me question if any being does value what we used to value as 5-year-olds. Did we mask ourselves to gain so-called advantages by losing yourself? Can you consider that as a gain? Why can we not be authentic? Why can we not live a life without deceit scrambling at our door step? Are relations never pure? Are we constantly at risk of being trampled by another that is only what appears to be, but never sincere? Would you rather open yourself, like a target in the midst of these snipers? Sometimes, just having this pessimist view leaves me confined in this safe, comfort zone. If I do not leave this little curb, no harm could come. I rather stay inside. Although they may be enjoying what they call “life”, at least, I know I am still living. Though there is the absence of “joy” – or so they call it, there is also the absence of what we all know as “pain”, or some say suffering. Mundane may not be the most desirable option, at least, it is stable.

Ever felt weary of being with your own kind? Some call it shy. Some say arrogance. Some paints it as anti-social. But for some, it’s merely to feel safe.


Little-Pizza